1-800-273-8255
1-800-273-TALK
A handful of years ago I was in a critical place.
I was 39 years old, and safe to say things hadn't turned out the way quite the way I'd planned. I hadn't been able to have children. I'd lost my first and only house to foreclosure. My then-husband had been fired the year before for sexual harassment. On top of that, he'd been lying and cheating for at least a year, all piggybacked by a (his) porn addiction that blew up a good desktop. I'd become isolated from old friends and family. I was humiliated.
Mental and physical health problems had conspired until I was a hideous mill churning out weakness. I watched my friends from college buy beautiful houses, gather more degrees, get higher paying, increasingly impressive jobs and have more beautiful children.
I felt worthless.
My life circumstances had eroded my dignity so badly I barely existed anyhow. My career had gone kerplunk. I was in relentless physical and emotional pain.
I was a clown-car of insults, worries, pain, and problems.
The only image I can offer is this:
After so many years of hard work, I held nothing in my hands but a square of antique lace. No matter how I tried to keep it, no matter how I gripped it, it was disappearing thread by thread.
I watched it disintegrate until it disappeared. Everything felt weightless in my hands.
In terms of a moving-on strategy, I had none. Money, car, credit, a place to live? Nah. Why breach to the surface after a ten year marriage with anything to show for it?
Oh, and there's that self-respect thing. That was all gone too.
I was just a shred of the lace myself. I had no hope.
It was all so unfair, I thought. I had spent a lifetime kicking through endless problems like a bunch of dried-out leaves; I felt I had clearing paths that just got cluttered again.
Before I knew it, I was in an unfamiliar state, surrounded by unfamiliar people. I was more alone than ever.
I had no one to listen to me.
I was actively suicidal. No one knew how severely fucked up I was. I tried to keep a good face on, but I knew I couldn't.
I called these guys. They were awesome.
You will not be judged. Your particular story will be valued.
These are people who will hear you, not just listen.
They also referred me to a great counselor in my area.
Please call.
Please.
The world needs you. You are here for a reason. Please just hand on long enough to start finding what that is.
Get help --- YOU CAN FEEL BETTER!
If you need more info, email me at hinsleyspsyched@gmail.com.
24/7 Suicide Prevention Hotline: Make the Call
"No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7."
Answers to Your Questions About the Lifeline
