Last summer, I started Skrapping Kim. I'm new to the scrapbook world, but went to Michael's and found the most plastic, blank book I could find and a whole lot of Rub Ons.
And, what great timing: the announcement of her 2nd pregnancy came along like a blast of shit from a cow's behind.
No one thought a second child would happen. Months before Kim had shared, "The doctors said he thinks I'm having sex too much. He said one time is more powerful…so we've tried everything."
And, Lord she struggled.
She complained, "I'm really not complaining, I'm just being honest about [it]. I hate it...I'm not going to sit here and lie and act like it's the most blissful experience. It's awful..."It [Pregnancy] is the worst experience of my life."
It blows because these comments must sting a lot of people. Kim, a woman who has had to mount Kanye West 15 times a day, looking at his misery face while matching her rhythm to the slap of his chest medallions, should understand the agony of women who would do anything to have a child -- women who pee on sticks until dehydration in hope of pregnancy.
Due to exhaustion, she is setting small goals, though she concedes that "Long-term goals (like saving money or learning a new language) are important, too."
Most of her followers can't find the time to learn Igbo, though I call BS anyway. Can you see Kim ordering Rosetta Stone off late night TV?
And we poor slobs saving money? Ha. My sister can't even patch the hole in the roof so her kids stop tripping over buckets.
Here are Kim's officially released "small goals":
1. Dumping the weight that Saint "caused" (and Saint on the ugliest, fattest nanny she could find) is the "number one thing [she] wants to accomplish!"
2. At some point it will be time for Kim to take on her 20 million dollar mansion. Designers will bust ass to make it homey and less like a factory full of tuning forks.
3. "I'd like to do some really cool photo shoots for my Web site." I just can't.
4. She wants "a few more fun weekend trips" with her followers. Shit. Now I have to decide between fun weekend trips with Kim and fixing my kid's cleft palate.
5. "I also want to plan a West family vacation—it’s a project in itself to find the time!"
*That ass mounting a jet ski? I have a fat ass, but as least I would't submerge my craft under a blast of silicone.
6. Lastly, she wants to learn "how to do the splits!" My brain's clogged with comments, so I'm just gonna wrap up this post.
She's an overachiever and I now feel like a loser.
Not really, though. While I do have goals, my mental and physical issues keep me living one day at a time. I find when I make goals, or promise family or friends that I'll attend a party or meet them at the gross Olive Garden, I take the chance of letting them down. Then, I feel really guilty. If it's a holiday celebration, and for whatever reason I just don't feel that I can handle the day, I'm leaving myself open to a day alone - especially while knowing others are together, laughing, being "normal," and having fun -- and that may make me feel worse.
Then, I feel emptier, more alone, and like I will never fit. I consider what they think of me, and why I rarely attend events. Maybe they think I'm Rudolph and have a bulbous red nose, so logically, they think I'm at an AA meeting. "Wow," they raise their glasses, "she's really making healthy choices!"
By the way, I don't drink..but, I do like Captain Crunch with Berries and I'm 44 years old.
H.
*we all know that twat was repaired before she even saw the kid
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